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At the beginning of the race, every racer was asked to pray a very hard prayer- God, break my heart for what breaks Yours. Burden my heart for what burdens yours. I didn’t really know what that meant at the time, but let me tell you, I had no clue how big that prayer was.

 

Before the race, I had a very hard heart. I didn’t really feel bad for people. I always found a way to point it back to whatever problem they had being their own fault. I never cried. I remember friends from home freaking out the 1 time a year I did cry. They always told me it’s good to cry, but it my mind, crying was a weakness. Little did I know that that prayer I had prayed months ago would change the posture of my heart to look nothing like it did 5 months ago. 

 

So this weekend, my squad and I went camping. Some stayed back, but I decided to go. The few that said yes to camping piled in a van and drove about 30 minutes away to the literal nowhere of Africa. We stayed on a farm in one of their back houses that was on the river. It was so peaceful. No one was around but us. We went kayaking and swimming and had a bonfire to roast marshmallows and brye (barbecue but South African style). This whole time though following after the whole week, I had a heavy heart. I had been crying for no reason and just feeling a little bit lonely in this journey. The thoughts of coming home so soon to a community of people who will try their best to understand, but no one will. The thought of going back to America where hearts are broken and a church that doesn’t even know who the Holy Spirit is. The thought of people so close to me that I love so dearly who will never experience Christ in a freedom way. Even the thought of having to forgive some people and reconcile with them. It was all so heavy.

 

It was in that moment I realized that my prayer had been answered. Normally these things wouldn’t have even been thoughts on my mind let alone tear jerkers. But God was sweet enough to allow me to feel what He feels for His people. Ah so sweet. Our God is such a personal God. 

 

& THEN IT ALL HIT ME: We are called to suffer with God.

When we give our lives to Him, He is on the throne of our hearts. Him being in the throne of our heart allows us to feel Him and the weight of His glory for eternity. WE GET TO! He lets us in on just parts of His heart and the way it aches for those of us who don’t chose into Him, when all He does is fight for us and long for a further relationship past going to church on Sundays. He suffers when His children don’t chose Him, and we get to come alongside of that. 

 

All in all, the Holy Spirit is moving me. The posture of my heart is shifting and my perspective is changing. I’m seeing others through the lense of God and feeling His heartbreak for them and that’s ok. I get to feel the Lords heavy heart for those people who don’t understand or have a broken heart or don’t even know what a life of freedom with Jesus can look like. But heavy hearts are called to rejoice! In this rejoicing we gain Christ!

 

 

IF YOUR STILL READING THIS,
THANK YOU!BELOW IS HOW YOU CAN BE HELPING AND COMING ALONGSIDE WHAT THE LORD IS DOING HERE IN JBAY:

 

PRAYER-

pray for the hearts of the children in every school and after school program and ministry we go to. pray that we are able to plant seeds in their hearts that the Lord can soon water!

 

pray for Global Leadership Academy (a campus we live on). pray the Lord will continue a mighty work on the grounds given, and that the Global community will continue growing. 

 

pray for H-Squad! we are about 3 months out from home, so the enemy is beginning to work against us!! prayers that all spiritual warfare be lifted in the name of Jesus!

 

FINANCIALLY-

im always fundraising!! if you feel lead to support financially, for serving or necessities, feel free to Venmo me @trav-albrecht. anything helps and is very appreciated! 

 

AT HOME-

PRAY A BOLD PRAYER! I encourage anyone still reading to start praying boldly in their time with the Lord! be straightforward with Him. He hears every prayer and He wants to talk to you! do it!! 

 

 

11 responses to “heavy hearts”

  1. You will always miss the way you’re feeling now in this hard season. Sounds so backwards but TRUST ME! Soak it alllll in ??love you baby girl! Praying for you!

  2. Surrender is hard. I’m learning that everyday. I cannot wait to sit in front of you and hear every part of your story. I love you.

  3. Trav, The Lord has surely done a wonderful work in you in the last five months, and you shared with such wisdom and vulnerability in this post. The Holy Spirit is using you in big ways, the first of which is to remind me not to harden my heart when hurt, but see the person rather than the behavior. Thank you for sharing your heart. Much love! ?

  4. Praying for you and your team Travyn. This was beautiful and God is definitely a personal God. When you come home the race is not finished! There is power in testimony. Wake America up and share your testimony sweet girl. We love you and are cheering you on!

  5. TRAVYN! i love hearing all that the Lord is doing in you. you have an amazing heart and the Lord continues to give you more and more of his heart which is so precious to watch! love and miss you! see you soon 🙂

  6. Thank you for sharing this Travyn. We love hearing what God is doing in and around you and through you!

  7. Trav, I love this so much! Thank you for being transparent. You’ve opened up your heart for the Holy Spirit to move and work in your heart. I’m so proud of you. It’s a daily surrender to the Lord. God is using you in ways you may not even realize right there where He planted you in S.A. I’m sure He will use this growth to continue to use you when you get back home. And your mission isn’t over just because the race ends. You are on mission from now until you meet Jesus face to face.
    I can understand the heaviness and brokenness you feel. I personally think it’s what God gives us to remember to love and serve other but most importantly to remember to pray for them.
    Prayers for you and Team Jubilee and all H squad. I CAN’T WAIT to see y’all in 18 days! Aaah!

  8. praying hard for you, your team and all those around you!!! you continue to amaze me and fill me in on everything that i am missing out in my walk witch Christ! i strive to be more and more like you and Christ every day!! love you so much and can’t wait to have you home????

  9. travyn, reading this gave me chills haha. i am so beyond grateful that you are getting to experience the lord in this way. i wish that every believer had the motivation to go this deep. christianity, as a whole, is so watered down around us. however christianity fits into the american dream or our own plans is how it is accepted. god is love is the main focus in the american church and all other scriptural truth is too often overlooked or ignored. people want what is easy and what does not require them to change or call them to something higher. but only preaching a god of love and rejecting all of his other holy attributes is only hurting believers. i am thinking about how you will feel when you return home. just thinking back on my time returning home after a life changing mission trip or even just youth group on sunday night when my heart was so challenged and encouraged, but i felt that there was no one else i could share w that would understand my heart. i am so ready to hear all about how god has worked in you and the people around you when you get home and i am so for you. i am willing to work alongside you and pray w you and encourage eachother when you get home to keep the passion you feel right now alive and present on the coast. i love you so much trav!!

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