untangled.

HEY FRIENDS! Woah!!!! Sorry it’s been a while, but I’M IN GUATEMALA! YA! So stoked to be here. My squad and I have been here for about 3 weeks and started ministry. On Mondays and Fridays, we work with a small private school called Loving Arms. They haven’t had any students because of covid, so we have been repainting and organizing and preparing for the kids to come back. The school also donates cows to families for milk, so we have the best job ever of cleaning the cow stalls. On Tuesdays and Wednesdays, we drive about an hour up a volcano in the back of a pickup truck to build a house for a family! The workers we assist barely speak English, so it’s been fun trying to communicate. We make bricks out of water and mud, and haul sand and rocks to build a chain wall behind the house to even it out for a back porch! On Thursdays, we have Activation days! We have a sermon in the morning, and then later that day we all get split up into different communities and do ATL’s (ask the Lord) to figure out where to go. We have ended up in a random yellow house on the corner, at a waterpark, and a pilla, which is basically the laundromats of Guatemala. 

Besides the day to day schedule, I’ve been feeling super off here. So I’m going to share my journal pages, 1 from the beginning of Monday, and 1 from the end of Monday. Getting a little vulnerable here, so enjoy haha:

Surprise, I’ve been super homesick all day. It sucks. I feel awful here. I am always uncomfy & I never feel like myself. Honestly, I know I’m not the same person I was when I came here, but man I am clinging to her so badly. She thought so highly of herself. She knew who she was and who she had been called to be. She was affirmed as a leader, spewing joy, knowing all wisdom. “She” does not exist anymore. Now, she is being stripped. She is insecure. She is emotional and easily offended. She is dumb as a flipping rock and cannot hear from the Lord anymore. She is homesick. She is sad. She’s been told to shut up countless times. She is not affirmed in anything here, especially not a leader. She is nobody, when everyone back home is telling her she is a worldchanger. Wow, am I being humbled right now. Wow, I have been shaken. Wow, I am nothing without the Lord. you would think a missionary who left home strong and set in her ways would be ok, but now working on the front lines of this whole spiritual realm, she is falling, & falling bad, not knowing the Lord. if she doesn’t know the Lord, she doesn’t know who she is. My love language is words of affirmation, but I began to thrive off of those words, and not off of the Lord. He calls me, though. REMEMBER IT! Keep your head up. Thank God for month 3. Thank you, God, for stripping me, knowing I would struggle. See you on the flip side of all of this uncomfort and growth. It is hard right now. I’m crying more than laughing. I’m reading and writing more than talking. I’m watching more than participating. I don’t have to be the center, that is God’s job. LEARNING TO SUBMIT IN FULL FAITH. “Consider it a great joy, my brothers, when experiencing various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. But endurance must take its full route, so that you may be mature and complete, lacking nothing.” Thank You God. Thank You Lord. Thank You Father. Thank You Abba. Thanks Dad. Love you.

After worship night later that day:

I just had the most obvious revelation of all time, so here are my thoughts, splattered on paper- 

I’ve been having the roughest time here. I haven’t been feeling myself, I wanna go home. I’ve been super insecure and uncomfy. BUT… woah! My love language is words of affirmation. I thrive and live off of hearing that I am a leader and that I was made for this and that I have wisdom. Here, I don’t get that at all, and praise God. woah, i have made it literally all about myself. His untangling of me is this: He is all I have. I sold myself.  I am a slave of the Lord. I surrendered. That allowance of my life to the Lord is living for Him alone. I should thrive and live off of what He calls me, not what any human does. Is this untangling easy, no. untangling is hard. It’s a process you have to go slowly and look through closely. But once you’re untangled, you can be used the proper way. You can be used to your original design. You have a testimony from your untangling, and looking back, it wasn’t so hard, and totally worth it.

 

Long story short, the Lord has been doing some major renovation in my heart, helping me redefine myself in Him ALONE. It’s Him + nothing. Just Him. I committed to a life lived for Him, whatever it looks like. Whatever you may be struggling with commitment wise, marriage or a job, or maybe even a 9 month missional season, it’s all being untangled. Just wait. Stick with your commitment. You’ll be thankful for the untangle.

SUPPORTERS! THANK YOU! 

To everyone who donated financially or in time of prayer, thank you! Thank you for your offering! Thank you for giving time. Thank you for being invested in what the Lord is doing in me to spread the Kingdom. Here are ways you can continue to help:

 

• Prayer: 

Pray for the hearts of the people we minister to, that their eyes can be opened to new perspective and that they would be willing to step into a life with Jesus! Pray for us racers as Christmas is coming up and the homesickness is REAL! Pray that we could just continue to keep our eyes steadfast on the Lord and choose into this season He made for us!

• Financially:

If you feel lead to financially support me in my monthly needs, whether that be for serving my team or necessities, venmo @trav-albrecht, everything is greatly appreciated. 

• At Home:

YOU CAN SERVE ANYWHERE! KINGDOM IS EVERYWHERE! Next time you’re in a coffee shop ordering your cup of joe, ask the barista if they need prayer for anything. Step out and ask the clerk at the grocery if they need prayer. Plug into your local church body. WE ALL NEED COMMUNITY! Living in a community here has been a blessing, and everyone should experience it! DO IT!